This blog has always been a reflection of my relationship to writing. We started out in that puppy love phase that was so exciting and energetic, ideas scattereed and thrown together and worth staying up until 3am for. Then I found that I could let my walls down and pour my heart out. Somewhere I didn’t need to censor myself and I could just show up exactly how I was. It eventually became more serious as I grew confidence- a solid foundation which I could build my life upon – and then we grew distant, distracted by the rest of the world. This space will always be a place for me to explore my relationship with writing, and right now, I’m hoping it can be a place for me to hurt and heal when I need that more than ever.
A year ago I was diagnosed with a rare neuorological disorder, idiopathic intercranial hypertension. There is too much CSF in my brain causing heightened pressure and nobody knows why. It used to be referred to as pseudotumor cerebri – false brain tumour – since that’s exactly what it acts like. I experience excrutiating headsaches daily, I’m constantly exhausted (and it’s not the kind of tired that I can nap away, as much as I’ve tried) and I’m loosing my eyesight.
Add to that a global pandemic and graduating university in a recession…things have been intense to say the least. So, while this will always be a platform to showcase my writing and my achievments, I’m coming back to it hoping to find some answers within myself. The kind of answers that only writing has been able to uncover before.