Where does the love go?

The world is obsessed with love. It’s unclear what love really means to people these days because the obsession has taken over. Is it presents and notes and falling asleep thinking of the same person on your mind when you wake up? That ping in your chest that mimics your phone when you get a message from them? Is it forgiving flaws and forgetting mistakes? Who the hell knows at this point.

My version of love is understanding. If you understand someone, I don’t think you can not love them. When you know why people make the mistakes they make and really see where there decisions lie. Even the worst decisions don’t make bad people. Humanity is inherently alright. Everyone’s fine, nobody is special, even the one taking up all your brain power. That doesn’t mean that we can’t love some people and not others. It’s a matter of knowing their vulnerabilities and seeing their strengths. So where does the love go after a heart break ?

Well for starters, heartbreak isn’t a disease. It’s strong and painful for sure, but it’s not a tangible virus that needs a cure. There’s plenty of research that suggests that being removed from someone you love, especially in a painful way, is akin to drug withdrawal. Of course that’s not easy. The thing that makes it hard is how the love remains. It’s much easier if you can just detox it. Get drunk, go running, on a holiday, whatever it takes to distract you until you can seep that drug out of your system. But where does it go when it leaves?

Love is a given, but relationships are not. Just because you love someone doesn’t mean you need to accept things you are unhappy with. It doesn’t mean that you have to compromise or cross boundaries or stop doing exactly what you want. That’s all up to you. You can walk away at any point, from a friend, a partner or even family. It’s not easy, in fact, it’s probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I hate walking away. I’m a fighter and I stand straight up to what I’m unhappy with and look it in the face, stare it down and win it over. It’s just how I work, I don’t like walking away from people. Probably, because I know that the people I love have so much good in them, even if they can only hurt me on the outside. I have real abandonment issues and I never want to leave anyone with the same. Having said that, I have done it. I’ve walked out of peoples lives with my head held high…and then cried to everyone I meet for the rest of the day. But I’ve done it all the same.

From my experience, after the heart break of walking away, or having someone walk away from you, the love doesn’t go anywhere. People come in and out of your life, but real love, that never leaves for me. Even the ones who have left me with scars I mourn daily, the love is underlying. Sometimes, I can even look at those scars with affection because of it. Like I said, when you know someone, how can you even stop loving them.

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